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Ask Auntie Gem Print E-mail

If you have a question that you would like answered about any problem please post a question in the Member's Forum or e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Note: Please tell us if you do not want us to publish your question - we always change names to protect you.

Dear Auntie Gem,

I really want to have a baby. I'm fourteen and one of my friends has just had a baby and it's so sweet. The problem is I have just split up with my boyfriend so am thinking about sleeping around. Is there any way I can get pregnant without getting an STI?

From Reah

Auntie Gem replies:

My advice to you is don't rush into anything. You might want a baby now but it's a serious responsibility and not something you shouldn't tackle alone for all the wrong reasons - babies may be cute but they also vomit, cry, poo a lot and turn into children very quickly.

Wait until you are old enough and have found someone special whom you trust. You will then be sure that you are bringing a child into a stable and loving environment.

You should have more self worth than to sleep around and the law says that you are not old enough, so why not wait a few years and concentrate on school work. Work towards your future so that you can give the very best to your child when you are eventually ready to have one.

Dear Auntie Gem,

I split up with my boyfriend recently and am really upset. The problem is that he is the most fancied boy in our year and when we started going out everyone said that we would never last. I'm not very pretty they said he would find someone better.

Well now he has and Becky is loud and beautiful and says spiteful things to me when she sees me. Everywhere I go I feel like they're rubbing my face in it. What can I do?

From Brioni

Auntie Gem replies:

Well Brioni, by the sounds of it this boy isn't worth worrying over and if he dumped you he'll probably soon tire of Becky and dump her too, even though it sounds like they're pretty well suited. You will get over this, I promise, and in time you'll find someone that really cares about you - you're worth that much!

The real issue here, however, seems to be the way you feel about yourself. You say that you're not very pretty. In whose opinion? I'm sure that you have lots of attractive qualities. Write a list of your good points and ask your friends what they like about you. If you still feel down see if you can get an appointment to talk to a school counsellor or ring one of our helpline numbers on our Helplines Page

Dear Auntie Gem,

My boyfriend is 19 and I'm 15. My mum says I'm not allowed to see him but I did anyway. A months later she found out and now I'm not allowed out. It's alright being at home because I'm doing my coursework.

I want to end it with him but am finding it hard (I have reasons and they don't include anyone else). All my friends know him as well and are telling me to end it and stop messing with his head. Everytime I try and end it he cries and tells me he loves me, this makes me feel guilty so I don't do it. I know it would be hard if it was to end because I would still want to be mates.

Name Withheld

Auntie Gem replies:

I'm sure that your mum is only looking out for you and wants you to do the best in your school work. Try and reach a compromise with her, for example that you will stay in and do school work on school nights and then be allowed out at the weekends. Point out that you need a break now and again.

If you want to end it with your boyfriend then it is better for you and him to just do it - the longer you keep him hanging on the more you are hurting him. Don't expect to remain friends; seeing him everyday will not give him the space he needs to get over you. Make your choice and stick to it.

You'll feel much better for it and then can get on with your own life and concentrate on things that really matter such as your GCSEs and your future.

* tell your boyfriend to visit www.itsfinished.com to help him get over it.

 
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