Before you decide to end your relationship make sure that you are making the right decision. Divorce petitions can be sent in the heat of the moment, for example when one person has been unfaithful. If you have any doubts talk to your partner and seek help from a relationship counsellor. Most counsellors will be happy to see you alone if your partner is reluctant or you haven't discussed your concerns with them yet.
On a cautionary note you should seek legal advice before leaving your property. Once you leave, particularly if you are leaving children behind, you risk losing any entitlement to a share in your home even if you are the main mortgage payer. If you feel that you have to leave make sure that you take any personal effects with you as reclaiming them might be difficult and vengeful ex spouses have been known to damage clothing and other personal items!
How to tell your partner you want a divorce or separation
- Consider how you are going to communicate your news in advance and anticipate possible reactions
- Be clear and to the point, repeating yourself calmly if they have difficulty in understanding what you are saying. It will probably come as a shock and be difficult to take in at first
- Help your partner to understand why you want to end the marriage even if they do not agree with your point of view. Be prepared to answer any questions and respect their need to understand
- Think about any practical arrangements in advance such as where you will stay and contact with the children
- If you are leaving home leave a copy of any arrangements in writing as this will clarify the situation once the initial shock has worn off