People usually get divorced when one or other of the parties decides to end the relationship, it is rarely a joint decision. For this reason many couples experience feelings of anger and hostility towards each other and this can complicate the divorce process.

To avoid the pitfalls that many couples fall into bear the following in mind:

  • Try not to let your feelings cloud your judgment when you are dealing with practical and legal issues. Park any emotions and if you have unresolved issues regarding the circumstances of your break-up seek counselling
  • While friends and family can be a great help, beware of people's intentions. Make sure you are making your own decisions and not letting others prejudice your feelings towards your ex, particularly if they have been through a difficult divorce themselves
  • If you have children ensure that their welfare is paramount. If you use them as weapons or encourage them to take sides they may get hurt and it could backfire, particularly when they are older and can rationalise what has happened
  • If your ex is causing problems for you and you have concerns over contact or residency of your children, keep a diary of everything that happens. This will provide a useful reference for you later on
  • Bear in mind that the court system in this country has a tendency to discriminate against men. If you are a man about to embark on a divorce then you should arm yourself with as much information as you can. Click here for links to men's and father's organisations concerned with family law.